No Kulappu
Kulappu is known to stomp his feet and shout, most of the time unnecessarily, and some of the time necessarily. But, at both times, the 7 footer is in Kulappu mode. The Commission that is Bond can’t do anything about it, but put up with him. “Why what’s your problem” Kulappu will ask without batting an eyelid, or tell another to “shut up”. Then again, he is Kulappufied even by the remarks of the Commissioners. But that is Kulappu. Just like the bull in a china shop- now to be rephrased as “Like Kulappuwa at the auction shop”.
But surprise, surprise, come the two Ministers to the Commission, Kulappuwa remained mum. It didn’t seem like that time of the month too for such a shift in mode, but not a word did he say. “Do you have any questions?” he was asked “ and pat came the answer “none”. Strange isn’t it, given the track record of the man?
Nirvana, God and Money
Siripala knows that in the end money can and will trump any need for a higher calling. If Keeniyawala is a place unknown to many Paradisians, and Litro gas is a product also untouched by many, only a corrupt deal can make both of them known.
Munasinghe, let alone a Shalila heading the company was also not something many of us knew, is it? That’s how deals at the Penthouse works. All under the radar, until it all blows up for some rookie mistake. This time it was Munasinghe to be caught pants down, no actually not, rather hands down in the “inn” of the Keeniyawala. The local bank fiasco was linked with the Penthouse, and now the international bank being done for by an appointee from the Penthouse?? hmmmm. All too familiar isn’t it?
Aney manda, when the sleuths realized this multi million dollar fraud and wanted their man, they had to break into the Inn at Keeniyawala to find the culprit. Thankfully, he didn’t run to the Penthouse, and instead ran into the Inn. For the law that could work at the Inn, sometimes doesn’t stretch as high as the Penthouse, does it not?.
Milk and Love is not a good mix
Milk- Fall has been no stranger to trouble. Daya isnt translated to “love”, but given the confused nature of our Dayas, Siripala thought he can confuse you and himself too. So this week’s meeting at the Cabinet saw a flare up between Milk and Love. Usually, we do the “kiri ithiraweema” on happy occasions such as celebrating love. But this time it was not to be.
This was because of the proposed Kiri Ethiriweema for the Central Highway. Love had something smart to say about the costs that the highway is incurring and Milk didn’t take it too nicely, and then all hell broke loose. Funny no, how love, milk and hell can all fit into the same sentence? Anyway, now the highway has been curtailed. Galewala is set to be the stop, and Milk fall will have to take the usual route to his Aniwaththa abode is it?
Namal, Legal aid, and new found love
So to everybody in Paradise Land, Namal is remembered for insisting on everything local. Obviously, because he can’t do a damn thing in the international, not even a law exam. But, locally the boy passes with flying colours, thanks obviously to good old Papa and Rodrigo, the former head of the College that was everything, but law. Rodrigo, the manipulative master he is, the first man to get the “President’s Cloak” without ever stepping into a courtroom is today the head of the Legal Aid Commission. Siripala thinks that was an apt appointment, don’t you? why with all the aid he gave to Namal, he must have something in him to give to the people no? Oh- and the aid he gave his son, how could we forget that? The scandal resulted in the Jusitce that was Cheap at the time removing Rods from the post itself. It was too cheap even by his standards- to give a backdoor entry to the son, of an institute he was head of. Well that was not all..haha. The son, who failed his law exams miserably about thrice was suddenly the winner of all the prizes, the main one of which the father was the examiner. That was how Legal Aid worked back in the day.
Anyway, recently Namal got into a scuffle and in prison, guess who our local boy decides to tell his woes to? to Nikki Haley and the UNHCR. Now you might wonder who Nikki Haley is no, she’s Uh-Merry-Cars rep at the UN. After all that “Merry-Car” bashing by the Joints and Mara, who would’ve thunk? who would’ve thunk? tsk tsk
Joints to select on Joints
So the Joints are trying to select some candidates for the soon to be held polls, and guess what the criteria is ? Yes you guessed right, Siripala had a bird whisper the criteria. Well it doesn’t take a Siripala to figure it out also now does it? So you must be able to lie, rob, cheat, womanize, be a total prick and a racist. They are the first tier. Once you get beyond that the second tier is about being able to transfer money from banks, hit the police and other not so important aspects. The lines I hear are fully queued up, with everyone saying “Yes yes, I can lie men, this is the amount of lies I have told mama, dada, malli and nangi”. One other bloke had said “Cheat? Ayyo I married last week men, I will give you a lecture on being a good cheat. One week is enough to know” Tsk tsk.
The States stress
So Rajitha was to insist that 1 in 5 of the state employees were under stress and that it affected their lives and obviously their work. Siripala, was not sure if he was speaking of a futuristic paradise or some sort of a passage from a fiction titled “the Perfect Lanka”.
The only stress Siripala and I’m sure many of you who have been punished by God and Karma to visit a state department would know, that is suffered by these workers would be the stress of “How long till it gets 4 o’ clock”. I say what other stress do these people have men? Anton Jones in fact wrote a song about them didn’t he, titled “Kanthoruwa”, detailing the shenanigans of how the offices work.
Oh well, yeah there might be the other stress of getting to work on time though, to do nothing and benothing, but clock in your 8 hours is the name of the game. In this traffic getting to work might therefore be quite stressful. But the 8 hours usually is all fun and games isn’t it? Like Jones said Kanthoruwa, Kanthoruwa mama wada karana, eka thamai mage jeewithe vinoda uyana - and as far as Paradisians are concerned nothing can be far from this truth.