Using touch to flirt with a girl
Perhaps the most powerful way to flirt with a girl is with touch. The key to flirting through touch is to start with quick, playful taps. From there, gradually increase the duration of your touch while making it more intimate.
For example, if you are flirting with a girl you just met, a good way to start flirting through touch is to use the back of your hand and simply tap her around the upper elbow. From there, take small steps forward with your touch. Use the inside of your hand and touch her upper arm, shoulder, back, and maybe work in some one-armed side-hugs. As you go along, you can gradually increase the duration of each touch.
Gradual escalation like this does a couple things that will help you attract women. First, it gets the girl comfortable being physical with you without her feeling overwhelmed. Second, touching her shows you’re comfortable with her, and subtly shows the girl you’re interested. Third, by not letting your hand linger for too long when you touch her, you show that you’re in control and you end up leaving her wanting more – which will have her chasing you in no time.
How to playfully flirt with a girl
Think of flirting as a game. If you make the game too easy for the girl, she’ll get bored and won’t want to play. So to get the girl interested, you can use a flirting technique called “push-pull”. This means to show her a little bit of interest – but then playfully push her away.
For example, when talking to a girl you just met you could say something like “you’re totally awesome… you’re like my little sister”. The first half of that sentence lets the girl know that you’re interested in her. But in the second half you throw her through a bit of a loop. She’s not quite sure what to make of that interest since most guys don’t date girls that remind them of their little sister. By keeping her guessing and adding that bit of uncertainty, you’ll be able to keep her engaged (for more on push-pull and for further examples on how to playfully flirt with a girl, check out episode 8 of Pickup Podcast on playful teasing).
Make flirting a natural behavior
Becoming a natural flirt is less about mastering the right words and actions and has more to do with getting the right mindset. Once you have the proper frame of mind for flirting, you’ll find the right words and actions flow effortlessly.The right mindset then, is simple. Assume that the woman you’re talking to is already attracted to you. Assume she wants you and is trying to get to you. See yourself as the perfect man out there, and that the best thing that can happen to her is to get your number, go on a date with you, or go home with you. Now, don’t confuse this mindset with thinking you need to be arrogant. It’s simply about seeing yourself as the desirable, high-value guy women desire. From there, as always, you want to have fun and enjoy the idea that women are naturally attracted to you. That fun, positive attitude along with the assumption that girl’s want you will help you to naturally flirt with women.
For some inspiration, here’s an example of the flirty things to say to a girl that come from that mindset:
Her: “Want to get another drink?”
Him: “Oh I see, you’re trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me ;)”
How to flirt with a girl immediately
One of the easiest ways to start flirting with a girl is to simply give the girl you’re talking to a nickname. Using a nickname not only makes things light and playful, it also gets things a bit more personal. We tend to use nicknames with people we like and feel comfortable around, so it’s a great way to establish comfort and have some fun right off the bat.
The best nicknames for a girl are going to be the ones that are personalized to her. So while you could run around using the same default nickname with each girl (“muffin” or “troublemaker” generally work just fine) don’t be afraid to experiment. Use whatever nickname strikes you at the moment. Just keep it positive and have fun with it and you’ll be able to get women smiling right away.
Flirting with confidence
As helpful as flirting tips for guys are, all these techniques and mindsets won’t do much if you can’t show confidence when flirting. And no matter what flirting technique you use on a girl (touching, flirty banter, etc) the way to flirt with confidence is to have the right body language.
So when flirting with a girl, you want to lean back and show her that you’re relaxed and comfortable. Avoid fidgeting and “pecking” (constantly leaning toward and away from the woman you’r talking to, which makes a guy look like a bird pecking at food). Instead keep your body movements calm and controlled. Strong body language will help you look and feel more confident, which is going to make your flirting much more effective.