A funny thing has happened to us on our way to the communication revolution. We have stopped talking to one another!
I was walking in a public park recently with a friend and his mobile phone rang interrupting our intimate conversation. There we were talking and walking on a beautiful sunny day and suddenly I became almost invisible and absent from the conversation. My friend had to answer several calls one after the other. Every time his phone rang, he looked at me as if I was an uninvited guest.
When I looked around, I saw that the park was also full of people talking on their mobile phones. They were passing other people, some of them may be known to them, without even looking at them. They did not say hello to anyone they met. They did not see mothers carrying their babies or ladies walking their dogs. In the past strangers used to stop on their way to pet a baby or even a puppy. The communication revolution has ruined all such simple pleasures and ways of living. Whoever thought that the untethered electronic voice would drown the raw and natural human voice?
Numbered dial
There was a time when the telephone was used to connect you to other people living next door or far away. I still remember the old telephone we had with a numbered dial. You had to operate it manually to reach somebody. Even when the phone rang it was a mini-event in the household. Everybody would run towards the phone in order to know who was talking at the other end.
As a result of the communication revolution, there are no land-phones in some houses. Parents, grandparents, children and even the housemaid have a mobile phone. Now it makes people sitting next to you feel absent. Recently I was travelling in a vehicle with some of my family members. We were heading towards Anuradhapura. The driver surreptitiously used his mobile phone in a hushed voice. Whenever he saw a traffic cop, he hid it. Even the others were on their mobile phones. They were either answering incoming calls or trying to reach some of their friends.
Love letters
We were zooming down the highway without talking to one another because of a gadget designed to make communication easier and instant. Although I have a mobile phone, I hardly use it. I still prefer to use the land-phone. Maybe I am an anachronism in the modern age. But there is something I am unable to comprehend. Why is it that the more connected we get, the more disconnected we feel? I feel that every advance in communication technology is a setback to the intimacy of human interaction.
As teenagers we used to write reams and reams of love letters. We were excited to send and receive handwritten love letters. Today, young people do not take the trouble to write love letters because they find it easy to send a short message or an email. The instant messaging over the Internet has ruined the art of writing love letters.
When we were in love, we loved to meet each other and have a long chat. Today lovers can communicate with each other without seeing or talking to each other. With voice mail you can conduct an entire conversation without ever reaching anyone. Even when I call someone, a machine answers. Have we transferred intimate human activities to machines?
We are living in an age when every conceivable contact between human beings gets automated. As a result, we are getting more and more alienated.
Human touch
When I walk into a supermarket and select some goods, the cashier mechanically says, ‘Good morning!’ Then she swipes my credit card and puts everything I bought into a bag and turns to the next customer. Before the advent of supermarkets, we used to walk into a shop and exchange a few words with the sales staff before buying anything. One day I bought a shirt and was about to pay for it when a comely sales girl asked me, “Why don’t you buy something for your wife too?” There was a friendly atmosphere in the shop and we got to know each other well.
Today you cannot walk into a bank and withdraw money from a counter. You have to use the ATM (Automated Teller Machine). Even when you have to deposit some money, they will ask you to fill a form and drop the money along with it into a box. At this rate you do not need humans to serve customers, as robots can do the job better.
You can own a mobile phone, an ATM card, a voice-mail system, and an email account. You simply cannot give them up. They are useful as long as you use them for the intended purpose. It’s their unintended consequences that make me cringe.
Feeling lonely
If you are feeling lonely with all these modern electronic gadgets, there are a few things you can do to preserve human contact. For instance, you can put yourself on technology restrictions. You should avoid instant messaging with people who are living close by. Why do you want to send a text message to the next door neighbour? You can also avoid using your mobile phone in the presence of friends. And do not let the voice mail pick up a call when you are at home.
Because of the heavy dependence on electronic gadgets, we have forgotten the importance of skin-on-skin touch which is particularly soothing because it primes oxytocin which acts as a stress hormone. When oxytocin releases, the body undergoes a host of healthy changes. Blood pressure lowers as we slide into the relaxed mode of parasympathetic activity. With human touch even wounds heal faster. Although we avoid touching people because of the Covid -19 pandemic, in normal times we need to touch others.
A crying baby will respond to mother’s touch. A naughty student will react favourably to a teacher’s touch. Mostly, your pet dog or cat will expect you to touch them often. When you do not meet your friends and shake hands or hug them, your friendship will suffer.
No amount of talking over the phone, sending short messages or emails will replace the therapeutic effect of human touch.
As we cannot give up using electronic gadgets, the best course of action should be to use them when it is really necessary to do so. At other times meet people, shake hands and hug them.