Although we are rational animals, we have not reached perfection. As a result, all of us have strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes our strengths outweigh weaknesses and vice versa. When strengths outweigh weaknesses we feel very confident and happy. There are of course many characteristics that can be identified with our strengths and weaknesses. We have a set of common strengths. They are selflessness, kindness and empathy. Similarly we have weaknesses such as selfishness, exclusiveness and apathy. Some people always focus on their strengths and others on weaknesses. If you focus on your strengths, you will develop a strong personality. On the other hand, if you focus on your weaknesses, you will become a failure in life.
Selflessness is considered a virtue because it enables a person not to think of his own welfare. His own interests become secondary for a selfless person. Most religious leaders such as the Buddha and Jesus Christ were always ready to help their fellow beings in their needs. They had risen to great heights through self-denial. There are some ordinary people who are ready to help others without being selfish.
Most philanthropists fall into this category. They build schools, temples, churches and hospitals spending their hard-earned money for the welfare of ordinary people. Meanwhile selfish people tend to benefit at the expense of others.
Flexibility is another mark of strength. A Chinese philosopher says we should be flexible like the bamboo that bends gracefully with the wind while remaining strongly rooted. At home and workplace flexibility helps you to adjust yourself to face sudden changes. Sometimes government employees are transferred to difficult areas to serve the people. Instead of carrying out their duties, most of them try to get a transfer to a better place. As a result, most difficult areas in the country face a shortage of teachers and doctors. A flexible person can adjust himself to harsh conditions in a difficult area at least for a few years.
Flexible thinking
Some decision makers are slaves to rigid thinking which restricts the flow of free circulation of ideas. Flexible thinking will help you to come up with novel ideas and solutions to pressing problems. On the other hand, inclusive people are broadminded. They spread goodwill among the people wherever they happen to be. Their spirit tears down fences and builds new bridges. If you learn the art of being gracious to strangers, you stand to gain in the long run. The celebrated Greek philosopher Pericles said, “Regard yourself as a citizen of the world.”
Exclusivity, on the other hand, is a common human weakness. Those who value exclusivity do not trust strangers or foreigners. Ancient Greeks called it xenophobia or fear of foreigners. In order to get rid of this mentality, you should consider all the people belonging to the human family. If you do so, there will be no conflicts between groups of people or countries. What is happening in the Gulf should open your eyes to the great loss of lives and property.
More than sympathy, we need empathy to experience the suffering of others. In contrast, apathy raises its ugly head when we remain indifferent to the interests of our family members and friends. It is a common human failing that exposes our insensitivity to the suffering of others. Dante said, “The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who are apathetic.”
In addition to such major sterling qualities, we also need certain complementary features that would make us one step above normal human beings. For instance, we should have an undying passion for our marriage partners. Those who have experienced it would vouch for its fantastic benefits. Unfortunately, most people are very romantic when they are in love, but their ardour takes a back seat after marriage.
Courage and caution are two other complementary qualities to build a powerful personality. In a way, living in this world in itself is a courageous act. You should be cautious in certain activities but too much caution will lead to inaction. At times you should be ready to take certain risks. In an unusual study by Gallop Inc, an international research and consulting firm, it was concluded that the highest levels of achievement come when people are matched with activities that use their strengths. Some people try to correct their mistakes instead of focusing on their strengths. Although all of us have certain weaknesses, we should not waste our energy to fix weaknesses.
I remember a new recruit in a bank who soon realised that his strong language skills were useless in his job. He followed a course to hone his skills and earned a first class degree in English. Then he resigned from his job and worked as an assistant lecturer at a state university. By dint of hard work, he completed his postgraduate studies and was appointed as the Professor of English. Even after his retirement he remains an internationally recognised author and a literary critic. If he had remained at the bank, he would have ended up as a bank manager.
Multiple strengths
Any young person will have many talents and abilities. They can also gain qualifications in many diverse fields of studies. It is always advisable to specialise in one area without trying to study many subjects which are not connected to each other. Those who try to increase multiple strengths will achieve only mediocrity in the long run. You have to pick one major subject to pursue. If you know what you are going to be, this will not be a problem.
If you know your strength, exercise it regularly. Maestro W.D. Amaradeva said. “If you want to be a musician, you must practise daily.” Then only you become an accomplished musician. If you want to be a writer, you have to practise writing daily. Some time ago the University of Chicago analysed the careers of concert pianists, sculptors, mathematicians and neurologists to determine what process led to high levels of their achievements. The researchers found that concert pianists had practised for 17 years. For any skill to improve you need to practise daily. You will reach your ultimate excellence through a long process of total commitment.
Certain weaknesses can be ignored if they hinder your progress. Never try to correct your weaknesses before capitalising on your strengths. By managing your weaknesses you will allow your strengths to overpower them. Some of your strengths are revealed only when they are combined with those of others. There was a well-known writer who was bad at spelling. He had this problem even at school. Instead of trying to correct his lifelong problem, he hired a competent person to rewrite and edit his writings. Even big companies employ outsiders to write their letters and reports.
If you possess courage and caution to the right degree, the path of success will be open for you. As Erich Fromm said, the opposite of courage is not caution, but conformity. Some people find it difficult to think critically and they are not open to new ideas and changes taking place in the world.
Self-esteem is another aspect of happiness. It will help you to grasp opportunities, cope with mounting problems and be respected by others. People endowed with self-esteem can face difficult times stoically. They tend to be rational, realistic and creative. They treat failures as inevitable and move on diligently until they reach their goals.
Here is an edited version of ‘Desiderata’ which would reinforce the foregoing ideas:
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste and discover your peace in silence without surrender, be in good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant – they too have their story.
Be not cynical about love, for in the face of all apathy and harshness it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Do not distress yourself with worries. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Control yourself, but also be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
Whatever the labour and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul, with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams. We still live in a beautiful world.”
