Conflict in the workplace is a common occurrence, and is likely to impact every workplace because of different personalities working together.
Workplace conflict can be something as small as a disagreement on how to handle a problem, or as big as a manager who is emotionally abusing employees. But knowing how to handle and resolve conflict can mean the difference between a minor dust-up between two, or more people and a toxic work environment.
If you are a leader, you would naturally hate people consistently show up to meetings late. You find your company’s leave policy woefully inadequate. You think the company’s time and attendance system is outdated. It’s normal to be bothered by work issues like these, but when do you move from complaining to taking action? How do you decide which battles to fight?
Before tackling something that’s irking you, you’ll need to assess whether you have the reputation and authority to succeed. People are more willing to accommodate your requests if you’ve proven yourself and set an example to others. Do your best to keep in good standing with your superiors and co-workers. It’s also easier to fight a battle if it’s part of your job.
You shouldn’t point out a problem without also having a constructive solution or a plan for developing one to offer. You want to be seen as someone who brings ideas to the table in a positive way. If you have a critique but you are not sure how to make things better, spend some time researching the issue and talking to others before you raise it. There are costs to going against the grain so you need to be sure it’s worth it. Is the issue a pet peeve or is truly getting in the way of your and your colleagues’ critical work? Think through the risks.
Test the waters
Change initiatives are notoriously difficult, so test your idea before diving in. Go to some trusted colleagues and bounce it off of them. If they think it will be a Herculean task, then you might want to reconsider.
If they think you’re onto something, you’ve got a good data point. You don’t have to set up a formal meeting; just try floating your proposed solution when the issue comes up naturally. For example, after a long meeting, you could say, It seems we spend way too much time doing this. Maybe we could try standing meetings to encourage people to move along faster.
Then see how your suggestion is received. Shopping your solution around serves another purpose, it builds early support. And it’s much easier to take something on if you have people behind you. Look for supporters beyond your immediate circle to show you’ve got broad backing. But be careful.
It’s not essential to have your boss on board but it can be helpful. At the same time, don’t expect him or her to fight your battles for you. You don’t want to run to your manager every time you want something to change.
In our very understandable and noble attempt to make the world a safer place for children, we coddled and protected them so much that we never permitted them to understand, experiment with, or feel their own power. What’s worse is that some now appear to not even have the coping or comprehension skills to be able to recognise petty behaviour and treat it accordingly.
The problem of always having someone in authority fix problems for you is that you never learn the skills needed to take on challengers for yourself. This is a big mistake and absolutely limits anyone’s potential for success later in life.
As an adult, you have choices to make about where you invest your time and energy. You are no longer a helpless child in school unable to correct or affect your situation. More is expected of you as an adult because you are capable of more.
Don’t wait for someone else to fix your issues for you. Your issues may not be important to them and in that case, the problem is uniquely yours to fix or figure out how to work through. We all need to be at least partially responsible for corralling and managing our own foibles and demons.
Full disclosure
The more sensitive you are, the harder this may be for you. However, it will always be up to you to decide what actions you will need to take to improve your situation. Sometimes walking away will be the best option for you. It’s not an option to take lightly, but it is there if you need it.
As we start our careers, we need to decide what’s important to us and how much risk we are willing to tolerate in the pursuit of a big reward. If you favour stability, consistency, and safety a larger, more established company is probably a better choice for you.
Your job may be more mundane and allow for less growth, but there will also be fewer unpleasant surprises. If however, you are in it for the thrill and the chance to get in on the ground floor of an up-and-coming game changer – you have to be willing to tolerate a very bumpy ride.
You will get the chance to wear many hats and every day may bring a new challenge and chance for big success, but you also may show up one day to find a padlock on the front door of the building.
As evolved and enlightened as we have become, there are still some things that haven’t changed. Those with courage and stamina do better in life and in the professional world.
Those who feel confident enough and empowered enough to fight their own battles will always have the advantage. This does not mean however that the people who have always had it easy will be the ones who succeed most often.
In fact, those who have not had it easy are the ones who better understand how the world works, how to make it work for them, and what they are actually capable of.
The playing field can be made as level as possible for everyone but it is no substitute for confidence, drive, or ambition. So here is my final question for you — what’s holding you back today and what do you plan to do about it? If there’s a problem between two employees, let them talk with you privately.
Be sure to hear both sides and take time to think on the matter before talking with the team together. This shows that you care and want to come to a solution, rather than pick sides. Then, have a meeting with the two of them and discuss ways to move past the problem. Do not declare someone right or wrong, just work through the issue and come to an agreement and plan of action for moving forward.
Be a true leader
The employer helps to set the tone for the organisation or department. If you expect people to behave a certain way, you need to lead by example. And when conflict happens to you, work through it by following your own guidelines.
Employees will not only follow your lead, but respect you even more for it. Balance is essential in keeping up morale and productivity in the workplace. While conflict can easily disrupt balance, and turn your workplace into a resource-draining drama, you can also gain from it. What matters is the way you approach conflict either as an impossible obstacle or an opportunity for improvement. The choice is yours.
