Most of us are in the habit of giving and receiving gifts on various occasions. However, we are unaware of the fact that gift giving is a fine art which can be learned and practised. Sometimes, it is not easy to select a gift hastily and mindlessly. This is because you run the risk of offending the recipient. Those who give and receive gifts will agree with the 2500-year-old declaration of the Athenian dramatist Euripides: ‘I care for riches (so that) I can give gifts to my friends.”
There is no simple formula for selecting a gift. The best choices depend on knowing the recipient’s likes and dislikes. If you know his tastes and needs, choosing a gift is not a problem. The problem arises when you do not know the recipient’s tastes. One way to find his tastes is to speak to some of his friends. If you are unable to find someone like that, take inspiration from ‘The Art of Giving’ by Stuart Jacobson. It is a sumptuous book on celebrity gift giving. The author who had researched the subject extensively says the most treasured gifts do not have to cost the earth!
You may have heard of Duchess of Windsor who possessed a multimillion-dollar collection of jewels. Her most cherished item was a simple gold bracelet given to her by her husband. She used to add a trinket every now and then as a memento. To mark a trip to Turkey, she received a jewelled star from him. The Queen Mother of the British Royal Family was another person who had an unusual talent for selecting appropriate gifts. Once she gifted a metal detector to Princess de Beauvau-Craon who had buried her silver in the orchard to save it from the invading German army.
Nostalgic value
You do not have to be a member of a royal family to become a good gift giver. What is important is to find a gift which has some nostalgic value. John Kennedy and his siblings wanted to give their mother something special for Mother’s Day. They came to know that she was very fond of a diamond and emerald brooch that belonged to her grandmother. The Kennedys came to know that it was in the possession of an elderly aunt. When they approached her, she was pleased to hand it over to them. Their mother was highly pleased when she received the gift.
Apart from such unique gifts, any ordinary person can find a suitable gift. For instance, flowers are among the most frequently given gifts. There seems to be a traditional floral language which conveys a wide range of emotions. A lover would give a bunch of red roses as a symbol of love. If you give a bunch of violets, the recipient will not forget you. Orchids indicate that the recipient would regard you as someone precious. In Western countries, those visiting hospitals to see their ailing friends or relatives invariably carry a bouquet of flowers.
If you are unable to decide what you should give as a gift, one option is giving some money. From the donor’s point of view, it is a convenient item to be given on many occasions. In certain villages, those who visit a funeral give money to the dead person’s nearest relatives. A money gift is particularly welcome to those who are short of funds for funeral expenses.
However, town folk usually do not resort to money gifts because the recipient may feel slighted. On the other hand, money given as a gift will be spent and nothing will be left. In cities, liquor makes an elegant and respectable gift provided you know the recipient’s preferences. If you give a bottle of liquor to a teetotaller, he will be annoyed. In the West, of course, a bottle of vintage wine is a gift much appreciated by the recipient.
In the business community, an increasingly popular choice for a gift is a trip. Some big companies give their employees foreign trips in appreciation of their services. Travel is a wonderful gift because it leaves the recipient with lasting memories. I still recall the spectacular gift I received from a firm at the beginning of my journalistic career.
Finding gifts for children can be difficult because they have diverse interests. Those with a literary bent would be pleased to receive books as gifts. Others would like to receive sports gear or a trip to a distant place. Five-year-old Albert Einstein was once sick in bed. He was bored and restless. To please him, his father gave him a small compass. It intrigued young Albert so much that he turned it in different directions but the dial always pointed North. The early exposure to the mysteries of nature stimulated his interest in physics.
As Lewis Carroll, author of ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,’ says you can give a birthday gift to someone only once a year. However, there is nothing to prevent you from giving gifts on any other day. If you know that someone is interested in a particular subject, give them a book giving more information about it.
Intangible gifts
One of my senior colleagues gifted a copy of ‘Lateral thinking’ when he knew that I was interested in the subject. You can give un-birthday gifts on any day of the year. A gift can repair the breaches of friendship. A thoughtful gift can heal emotional wounds. There are certain gifts which are not tangible. The telephone calls you receive from your friends on your birthday are intangible gifts.
Remember the old adage: “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” This is a warning against questioning the quality or use of a gift. The proverb refers to the fact that it is by a horse’s teeth the age is judged. The saying has been in existence since the early 16th century.
Another proverb says, “Fear the Greeks bearing gifts.” The words contained a warning to the Trojans about the ‘Trojan Horse’ in which the Greek warriors were concealed. Samuel Johnson quoted the Latin version in a letter which said, “Tell Mrs Boswell that I shall taste her marmalade cautiously at first. Timeo danaos et dona ferentes.” Then there are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: Wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord.
