Every single business organisation has difficult people. They defy logic and their behaviour is irrational.
Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress. They are a value drain for any business.
Interacting with difficult people drains our energy, productivity and even happiness. But those that are ‘oil’ to your ‘water’ don’t have to cause more anxiety than they need to.
We have all experienced it — the clash with difficult coworkers or demanding bosses. Maybe they are always negative, quick to blame or simply impossible to please. These encounters drain energy, damage productivity and make the work environment feel tense. While it’s tempting to avoid these individuals, the reality is that we can’t always control the person’s behaviour. What we can control is how we respond to it.
Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves.
People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.
Emotional spiral
Smart people know how important it is to live to fight another day, especially when your foe is a toxic individual. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.
Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk, the thoughts you have about your feelings can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it.
Gain perspective
Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs. It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognise the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person. Everyone has someone at work and/or outside work, who is on their team, rooting for them and ready to help them get the best from a difficult situation. Identify these people in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective.
Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.
Before you get this system to work brilliantly, you are going to have to pass some tests. Most of the time, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people.
Stress-relieving techniques
Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain permits it to mould and change as you practise new behavioural patterns, even when you fail. Implementing these healthy, stress-relieving techniques to deal with difficult people will train your brain to handle stress more effectively and decrease the likelihood of its ill-effects.
It’s important to remember that collaboration with a difficult person can mean agreeing to disagree on some things and focusing on solutions to the problem at hand. Sometimes, the best way to deal with someone is to limit the scope of interactions to what’s essential for the new job while maintaining professionalism and respect. This can often help improve the working relationship, even if you don’t end up going out for drinks after work.
Dealing with difficult people is an inevitable part of work life. But it doesn’t have to consume your energy or derail projects. It all depends on how you approach these people and what decisions you make about them. What is important is to deal with it for a solution rather than living with it. It costs you money and time. Despite all your best efforts, that difficult person still might cause you some anxiety.
But the truth is, you decide if you are going to give someone undue influence over you in your life. Do your level best to improve the relationship than level off the impact they have on you.
Don’t permit difficult people to erode your business value or demotivate the good people.
