While going for work or simply strolling down the lane, look at the faces of men and women. Do you see happy or unhappy faces? According to a recent study, you will see more unhappy faces than happy ones.
Children, of course, show happy faces as they have less worries than adults. They are well looked after by their parents and there is nothing to worry about food or personal safety. The situation is quite different as far as adults are concerned. They have problems at home, work places and society. When they are burdened with problems, they are unable to enjoy happiness. As a child I stayed with a family known to my parents. The husband, a young officer at a local government office, came home late every day. He always had a tiff with his wife.
Their only child was looked after by a nanny. There was a newly married couple living in a rented house in the neighbourhood. They managed the household expenses with their combined income. As they were satisfied with what they possessed, they lived happily. The husband expected every day to be a rewarding one and his wife accepted ordinary disappointments as a part of living.
Most people, however, see themselves as more like the couple I had stayed with. Ed Diener of the University of Illinois and David Myers of Hope College in Michigan say some people are very happy and others are not so happy.
According to them, happiness is measured as anything above ‘neutral’ on what psychologists call a ‘delighted terrible scale’. The opposite of happiness is depression. You will see more depressed people than happy people wherever you go.
Centre of happiness
Psychologists and neuro-psychiatrists have teamed up to locate the centre of happiness in the brain. They have discovered that happy people show more electrical activity in the left frontal lobe of the brain. Those who tend towards depression show more right frontal lobe activity. Recent research has come up with new theories that debunk myths and cherished beliefs.
Research shows that there is no difference between men and women as far as happiness is concerned. Therefore, the old myth that women are unhappier than men has been busted. Similarly, happiness does not depend on your age. In fact, no particular stage of life is less happy than another. You will feel unhappy in teenage years, midlife or in your old age. It has been confirmed by a worldwide survey conducted in the 1980s by a team of scientists of the University of Michigan.
Rich people have money to buy anything they want. However, one in three rich people feel unhappy. In a survey of ‘Forbes’ magazine, it was revealed that wealthy people are not happier than their poor counterparts. In fact, some poor people are much happier than rich people.
Marriage
Does marriage make people happy? This is a debatable point. Research shows that most married people are happier than those who remain single. In a survey done in the United States, 39 percent of married adults said that they were very happy. However, 24 percent of unmarried people were unhappy because they felt lonely. On the other hand, married people do not feel lonely as they have to care for their spouses and children. In your old age, your children and grandchildren are a source of extreme happiness.
Extroverts are happier than introverts because the former are largely optimistic and possess a sense of control and self-esteem. Happy people are healthier than unhappy people. It is the unhappy people who resort to drug abuse, alcohol and smoking. What is more, being happy means that you are living in a state of flow. In other words, you are totally absorbed in whatever you do.
Psychologist Mihaly Ciskszentkihali developed the flow concept while working at the University of Chicago. Look at a painter and note how he is absorbed in his work. Sometimes he is unaware of what is happening in his surroundings. Even most writers do not get up from their seats without finishing their writing.
The flow is found in wide-ranging professions. Scientists, architects, machinists, poets, dancers, writers and painters display the flow quality. If you have wide ranging skills, you will be busy with various tasks. Those who have only a few skills remain unhappy because they have nothing to accomplish. For instance, a postman who delivers letters goes home to rest. If he has no other interests such as gardening or playing a musical instrument, he will feel lazy and unhappy.
Tips to remain happy
Psychologists have offered many tips for you to remain happy. They can be treated as steps to happiness. One such step is to live in the present. Do not brood over the past and missed opportunities because it is a waste of time. Do whatever you have to do willingly and without grumbling. Help someone in need whenever possible and curl up with a good book when you finish the day’s work.
Do not waste time and take control of your affairs and reap the maximum benefits. If you have to do a complicated job, do it in stages. Authors do not write books at a stretch. They complete one or two chapters at a time because they know that writing a book can be a formidable task.
Stress is a major problem in the modern world. To avoid stress, give priority to those who are near and dear to you. Those who have spouses, close friends and partners cope better with stresses such as bereavement, job loss and illness. Even if you have problems, put on a happy face. When you smile, your facial muscles actually trigger happy feelings in the brain. Finally, take care of the soul. Those who have faith in religion are happier than those who have no faith. It has been confirmed in a survey done by the Princeton Religious Research Center and the Gallup Organization in the United States. If you are content with life, most of your problems can be solved easily. Contentment is the antidote to unhappiness.
